Who makes the decisions?

I trust my higher self.

There is a version of me who is connected to something bigger, who has access to more of the puzzle and who makes infinitely better choices.

I don’t trust any other version of me. I’ll listen to what those versions have to say and let them know that they are welcomed to contribute, but they don’t call the shots.

When my higher self makes an important decision or creates a new structure or habit, I will defend that to the end. If I’m feeling exhausted or sad or angry, I won’t allow myself to override what was decided from a higher energy state. If I leave my little boy in charge, every day will be an adventure and a spontaneous, chaotic mess. I’ll take note of what these versions bring it up at the next internal board meeting, but there’s a very clear hierarchy.

It’s higher self above all.

How do I expedite the no's?

I'm skipping over the part where we accept and embrace the fact that we are going to receive boatloads of no's in our adventures. That's a given.

Taking that a step further, we want to get through all of the no's as quickly as possible so that the yes's come through loud and clear.

I'm an optimizer and am always looking for greater efficiency. By expediting the no's, I can save lifetimes of maybes, time wasting, mental energy, stress and disappointment. Give me the "fuck yes, or no" as Mark Manson so eloquently put it.

Whether it's about hiring, fund raising, dating, where to eat dinner, or even (especially) what idea or business to start, it's our job to clear out all of the no's. We live in a world of virtually unlimited choices where we can spend 40 minutes scrolling through Netflix with a bunch of maybes. Stop that. If it's not a complete and total yes, it's a no.

Something might not be a no forever, but if it's a no right now, be thankful for the no and move on. If it's meant to be a yes later on, it'll find a way.

The best way to expedite the no's is to ask the really difficult questions that cut through all the pleasantries. If you know what you want, ask for that up front regardless of how awkward it might be. You'll save everyone involved lots of time and that's way more valuable than a few moments of difficult conversation.

Steve Schlafman has a simple and powerful way to do this when pitching investors. Ask them directly, "What are your concerns about our business?” You cut through lots of fat with that question. It's our goal to find questions like this in all that we do.

Give me all the damn no's until there are no no's left. Then the beautiful yes's can shine down upon us.

What have I learned from Harry Potter and Bugs Bunny about decision making?

For a hypothetical argument's sake, let's roll with the assumption that everyone is making the best decisions that they can with the information that they have in the moment. Most people, most of the time, aren't making decisions that they think are bad or wrong. We're all doing the best we can with what we got.

If we truly believe that, there's an awful lot of space for us to invite in compassion, sympathy, forgiveness and empathy when we make decisions that doesn't work out.

We make a decision. It works out. Or it doesn't. And we move on from there.

Instead, it's easier to get caught up in the opposite direction: second guessing, regret, remorse, resentment, finger pointing, blame and over thinking our past decisions. I made the decision. The best I could at the time. And now I want to use new information to make the best decision I can in this new moment.

A cool little plot device in The Half-Blooded Prince (one of my favorite Harry Potter books) is a magical potion called Felix Felicis. From the Harry Potter Wiki:

"Felix Felicis, also called "Liquid Luck", is a magical potion that makes the drinker lucky for a period of time, during which everything they attempt will be successful. It turns an ordinary day into an extraordinary one."

Harry successfully uses it towards the end of the book and has the ultimate trust in his own judgement and decision making. Harry also tricks Ron earlier in the book into thinking that Ron drank the potion before a big Quidditch match. This helps Ron get out of his own head and lead his team to victory. It has striking similarities to "Michael's Secret Stuff" in the Space Jam movie where Bugs Bunny tricks his teammates into drinking water thinking that it makes them better basketball players.

Harry and Bugs both know the power of the placebo affect. Science has proven that our brains can convince our body that a fake treatment is the real thing.

If given the opportunity and no side effects, we all would be walking around like Harry after he takes the potion. After he consumes the potion, he seemingly makes a bizarre decision and responds. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing... or at least, Felix does."

And so, that is the confidence and trust I want to cultivate in my own decision making. Mentally, I know I'm making the best decision I can in the moment, but it's oh so easy to forgot.

As a fun little hack, I've labeled my water bottle Felix Felicis. From now on, every morning when I wake up and drink water, I'll be reinforcing a little luck and magical thinking into my decision making.