What is the Impossible Dream?

I saw a documentary today called the Impossible Dream based on a high school football coach who became a master of his craft.

It was a story I knew from my childhood as he coached my father, but this documentary took it to a whole other level for me. Over 50 years of guiding boys on their journey to become men.

What really hit me was seeing game footage of those students playing football in 1969 and then seeing them in person today as 70 year old men. What a wild trip this thing called life is.

Coach Signorino Sr. said something in the documentary that is going to stay with me for a long time. He said it was his job as a leader of the football team to stretch the potential of those who took the field.

He trained, inspired and led the students in ways that no one else could. Listening to these men tell stories about his leadership from a game that they played in over 50 years ago was so moving. The impact that man has had. Wow.

It felt great to celebrate him and my father who was a part of that team. I was also proud to see my friend Matt following in his grandfather’s footsteps as the third generation of head coach. Leadership, impact and legacy come in many forms, and today was a beautiful reminder of that.

Why do I have a love / hate relationship with my own blood?

I just donated blood on Monday night. The whole process is uncomfortable for me, and yet I keep going back. Here's why.

Back in 2011, Joe Yevoli started the NYC Tech Blood Drive. He had such a compelling, inspiring and tragic story behind why he was organizing the blood drive that I instantly signed up.

(The story is still up on the web if want to read it and instantly feel peer-pressured into donating yourself).

Even though the NYC Tech Blood Drives are a thing of the past, I've been donating as regularly as I could ever since. And I'll tell you a little secret. After all these years, I still don't enjoy the process.

One time, a woman at the front desk asked me what I wanted to donate. Cluelessly I responded by asked them what they needed. She told me that I qualify for a special type of donation called a Double Red Blood Cell donation.

"Great, let's do it!" with no idea what this meant.

Basically, they draw your blood, separate the red blood cells and pump the plasma and platelets back into you so that they can collect even more red blood cells. It's so intense on the body that I'm only able to donate once every 16 weeks (as opposed to every 8 weeks for a regular donation). I don't recommend it, but also look at it as a personal physical challenge.

For those of you who didn't pay enough attention in biology like me, red blood cells carry oxygen throughout the body to the organs and tissues. An after affect of donating that much red blood cells for me personally is that I have to take it easy for a few days afterwards, and I don't like not being at full strength.

But.

My single donation every 4 months is enough for 2 live saving blood transfusions. On top of that, every 2 seconds in the US someone needs blood to survive, and 1 in 3 people need a lifesaving transfusion during their lifetime. There's a lot of talk about impact and improving lives in the tech and entrepreneurship worlds, and this is the most tangible and simple way I've found to directly create that impact.

So whatever short term annoyances I have to deal with by being temporarily slowed down feels totally worth it. If you're in a position to spare some extra blood, please find some time to donate!

Why am I so critical of people who are trying to make an impact?

We live in a very strange time in human history. Collectively, we've started doing this thing where we criticize people who are trying to make an impact for not making enough of an impact. Or sometimes we just don't like they way they are making an impact.

Instead of supporting those contributors or even contributing ourselves, we've created a finger pointing, cancel culture that is skeptical of every move.

We look at Bill Gates and say he's not doing enough. He's one of the greatest philanthropists the world has ever seen and his foundation is saving millions of lives. He could be doing more we might say.

It's not just Bill Gates. He was the hot topic last week.

Dave Chappelle gets put through the grinder for telling jokes that point out racism, sexism, and hypocrisy because they can be offensive. Elon Musk is driving innovation in rocketry, solar energy and automobiles, but he smoked weed on a podcast. Greta Thunberg has hate and criticism thrown at her from every direction and she just keeps doing her thing. They could be doing more.

And here's the thing. I'm not finger pointing at the finger pointers. I get why they write and think those things. I do it myself. All the damn time. I see a non-profit or public benefit company, and my immediate reaction is to judge them. How effectively are they using their funds? Are they really interested in making a difference or just doing it for marketing purposes, I might ask on a rather feisty day.

I'm not saying that we can't be critical of people, ideas and methodologies that don't align with us. Critical thinking is how we get better innovation. Challenge the old way to make room for the new. But...

The step before critical can always be curious.

Instead of judging how non-profits might hypothetically use their funds or if a company is "mission driven" for marketing purposes, I can look it up and find actual answers. If I don't like what I find, I can ask a trusted friend if they see what I see. Curious first. Critical second.

Even if someone doesn't live up to our definition of perfect, which of course they never will, we can still be grateful that are making positive contributions to our society in their own unique way.

After getting curious about what is not being seen, if you still don't like the way they do it, great, go out and do it better.

How can I have more impact?

We took a small group of top performing salespeople and entrepreneurs into the Tenderloin in San Francisco to give out food and supplies to homeless people. Most of these people were from out of town and had no idea what we were in for. None of us did really.

We arranged to have someone lead our group who works with the community to supervise and keep us safe. At the last second, our safety guide had cancelled on us. After some scramble, they said that they found someone to come out with us.

It’s hard to put words to what we all experienced that day. It was powerful on so many levels, and yet the biggest take away for me personally had nothing to do with serving the homeless.

The woman who came to our rescue had been on disability. She had been working and volunteering until they made her stop. When she heard about our story and what we were doing, she knew she had to answer the call. By the end of the day, she was crying, we were crying and we were all left with this feeling -- how can we do more.

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I listen to entrepreneurs and brands with these noble visions about how they are going to change the world and create massive social impact. I’m grateful for their commitment and dedication to improving the planet for all of us.

But… there’s a but.

If we want to have more impact, we have to take care of ourselves first.

I know this may seem counterintuitive or even selfish, so stay with me here. Our ability to give more is directly proportional to how well we are doing individually, to our own energy, to have our personal needs met.

This woman was on disability, and she wanted nothing more than to be out there doing more for the community. She had to focus on herself and her healing first though because she literally had nothing left to give. Such is the case with so many who put service ahead of their own needs.

Some of these companies and brands with these ambitious charitable goals are unfortunately going to have to learn this lesson the hard way. They have to create massive value and create a profitable, sustainable business first so that they can be around long enough to make the contribution and impact they envision.

I have so much love and respect for these companies with these bold, impact-driven mission statements just as I did for the woman who lead our group in the Tenderloin on that rainy Saturday afternoon.

If we want to have more impact, focus internally first and make sure our own house in order. And while that process may not be as fast or as easy as we'd like, it is absolutely necessary if we want our impact to ripple throughout the universe.