How do I come up with my theme for the year?

At the beginning of 2018, I gave up any form of resolutions and made the decision that picking a theme for the year felt more appropriate for me.

At that point, I decided that 2018 was going to be the Year of Ultimate Alignment.

This came from a belief that there was a lot of internal work for me to do that year. My intention was to re-calibrate my internal compass and strengthen my trust in my own discernment and decision making. I deepened my yoga and meditation practices. I participated in some other-worldly "team building" activities. I spent a lot of time in nature. And I did my best throughout the year to checkin with my own internal guidance system before taking action.

Then there was 2019. Last year was the Year of Surrender.

Whether I truly wanted Surrender to be my theme for the year or not is hard to say. But it was very clear that's what was happening, and I went with it. I surrendered to Surrender being my theme for the year. I left my leadership position in a company I previously believed was an organization and the people I would work with for the rest of my life. I went through a hellacious experience with the people renting my home which became very costly financially, mentally, spiritually and emotional. And ultimately, I spent a lot more time listening, saying no and letting go than I did of actually accomplishing anything. Weirdest year of my life. But it also left room for me to fall in love with an incredible woman in a situation that most people could never understand. In a sense, we both were fully surrendered to what was possible against the odds, and it's been a beautiful adventure ever since.

That brings us to 2020. The start of a new decade.

There's so much pressure to pick the perfect theme for this new year after how on point the last two were. Actually, I'm just messing around. There's no pressure at all.

I'm sitting here with no theme at the moment, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

The beauty of these themes and the reason why they are a year long journey is that they take time to learn, develop and fully integrate. Allowing these themes the proper time that they need breathe and grow feels like putting on a new piece of armor. They become part of my identity and who I am.

And so, even though I don't have a theme for this year on January 4th (gasp!), I fully trust that the theme will reveal itself soon.

Thanks to my Alignment armor I am certain that I will be able to find the exact right theme and say no to everything else. And thanks to my Surrender armor, I don't feel the need or pressure to force something to hit some arbitrary deadline or outcome.

I know that this year's theme will come from me listening deeply, being observant to what life is showing me and rejecting any good themes to leave space for the perfect one to walk into my life.

Why do I choose to make practice so difficult?

We're about to connect some really old threads that have been in my subconscious for decades. We're going down the rabbit hole on this one.

Why do I choose to practice in extreme conditions? Short answer: it's been programmed in me since childhood.

Childhood Practice Memory 1:

There's one season of the cartoon Dragon Ball Z, one of my favorite shows as a kid, where Goku has to travel far away and fight some aliens who are way more powerful than him. On his trip, he has a Gravity Machine that allows him to train in higher gravity levels than on earth. It breaks and goes up to 100x Earth's gravity. Goku goes from not being able to move to training in 100x gravity like he's walking on air which then allows him to put a whooping on the bad guys.

Childhood Practice Memory 2:

Over the holidays, we were teaching my 8 year old nephew how to bowl. I explained the way that my brother and I learned as kids. Our grandfather had taught us a certain step by step method and then made us repeat this process. Talk about training in a difficult environment. Our grandfather was a strict German man who not only owned the bowling alley but also was one of the best bowlers around, and he was watching our every move. I had to be younger than my nephew when we did this, and it stuck with me all these years.

Childhood Practice Memory 3:

I had just changed soccer teams. My old team won pretty much every game we played, won our league and won a few tournaments. My new team was not nearly as good. I was probably the best player on the team, and I wasn't all that great. At a practice midway through the season, my new teammates were goofing around, and my coach was laid back and laughing with the kids. I don't think our team had won a single game at that point, and I completely lost it. I yelled at my teammates, yelled at the coach, said some inappropriate words for a kid my age and then ran laps by myself for the rest of practice.

What do these 3 seemingly random memories about practice have in common?

These formed my own internal belief system about practice which only became apparent to me very recently.

Today, I choose to actively practice in situations way more difficult than anything I'll experience in real life, so that the real world operates in easy mode in comparison.

There's a few ways that this plays out for me. I never really made the connection as to why I did things this way until now, but it all makes sense from this new perspective.

In yoga, my favorite teacher is a woman in San Francisco who has the most notoriously difficult classes I've ever encountered. I didn't realize this when I showed up to her class the first time for what would be the third ever yoga class of my life. She warned us that it was going to be an advanced class and instead of rolling up my mat and leaving, I vowed to myself that I would not let this woman break me. Over 100 of her classes later, I have not given up in her class yet, and she has pushed me further than I ever could have imagined.

I do breathing exercises in the sauna and steam room with the extreme heat and humidity. I meditate in loud gyms and on the subway. I read books that are way above my comprehension level.

I don't get mad at myself when I struggle in these situations. It's practice. We're talking about practice. The opposite normally occurs. I'm grateful for failing in these situations, because I now know my current breaking point and have a new baseline to surpass next time.

It's important to keep in mind that this only applies to practice. Don't drink and drive so you're a better driver sober. Don't pick a fight with your boss or significant other just to improve your arguing skills. Common sense helps here people.

One of the keys to having a growth-focused mindset is to always be looking for opportunties to improve. An easy way to accomplish this is to see how you react when the switch gets ratcheted up 100x and you can't get up off the floor. It also shows incredible inner dialogue when you are in an unwinnable situation.

If we want to get exponentially better at the things that matter most to us, practice harder.

What is the purpose of meditation?

First let me start my saying that I am not qualified to answer any questions about meditation other than my own direct experience.

I have been practicing meditation for the last three years under the guidance of some incredibly knowledgeable individuals, and yet meditation is prehistoric. It literally has been around longer than we have recorded history! (So cool) I feel like I'm still on the first or second step of a very long journey, so anything that comes next is from personal experience and not expertise.

I first became interested in meditation by listening to the Tim Ferriss podcast (thanks Tim!). He'd interview world class performers, experts and wildly successful people, and the topic of meditation would come up over and over again. Once I made the plunge into the world of meditation, I was hooked.

So, what's the purpose of meditation?

Honestly, that question is like asking what's the purpose of writing. It could mean so many things to so many different people. Meditation can be useful for reducing stress, increasing calmness, finding inner peace and on and on.

Here's what can be difficult about meditation:

The purpose of practicing meditation isn't to become better meditators.

When we practice soccer, piano or ballet, we are doing so in order to become better at playing soccer, piano or ballet. With meditation it's different though. There's no such thing as a perfect medtiation session.

What's extremely interesting to me is how we can use meditation to help us be better leaders and creators. And in this regard, I've found two types of meditation to be most useful.

Mindfulness Meditation

The first type of meditation that I've found particularly useful as an entrepreneur and leader is a mindfulness practice. There are many styles and types of meditations that can accomplish this, and generally these bring awareness to our thoughts.

Mindfulness meditations help us become more present in our day to day interactions. It's about becoming more comfortable with our own mind and thoughts. This creates more self-awareness which then allows us to make better decisions and be better leaders.

I've seen such profound effects in my own personal awareness over these past few years. This particularly shows up when things may not be going so smoothly. I've noticed how differently I now show up when new obstacles and challenges present themselves, and it is FASCINATING. I'm not perfect, but I'm way better.

Insight Meditation

I have "found" many answers through meditation. There are certain types of meditation (Vipassana in particular) that help us create space in our minds where the answers can come to us. I've found it similar to discovering new ideas in the shower or solving problems in my sleep, only this is a much more intentional approach.

Insight meditations have helped me to approach problems from new and unexpected perspectives, detach and untangle myself from messy situations to see what I'm not seeing and to create space for entirely new ideas to come through. Without going too far down the rabbit hole, I've found that many times I've already had the answers and just needed to be in the right headspace to receive them and understand them.

I've also had other-worldly experiences with heart opening meditations, somatic meditations, collective and dynamic meditations, but mindfulness and insight meditations have been the most useful to me as a creator.

As we look to unlock the next level of the video game and build the things we are here to build, there's no doubt that meditation will be a key ingredient.