When is it not time for tea?

If you know me, you know I love my tea time. And accordingly, this is my new favorite anology.

There is a large portion of the influencer world that consists entirely of recycling the same positive messages and quotes. “Yay. You got this. You are wonderful. Everything is perfect.”

Of course I’m exaggerating, but maybe not by all that much.

I now imagine these influencers on rollercoaster causally sipping some tea with their pinky up as the cart slowly clicks up the track, building more and more potential energy for the big drop.

“What a beautiful day it is.” ~sip~ “The birds are chirping and the squirrels are so playful.” ~sip~ “Oh, what a beautiful view from up here.” ~sip~

Then WHOOSH!

“HOOOOOOOOOO”

“LEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“SHHHHHHHHHHH”

“IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT”

Ride stops. Heart pounding. Hair definitely not instagram ready. Completely empty tea cup.

While I certainly don’t wish the rollercoaster on anyone, we all know it’s part of life. Let’s not pretend that it’s all sunshine and butterflies all the time. The positivity and positive mental talk is so important, and we also have to be real.

When you’re buckled up in your cart heading up the first hill of a rollercoaster, do yourself a favor and put the tea away. Perhaps, take some time to enjoy the wonderful new views or use it as an opportunity to see how stable you can keep you hear rate while pulling some g’s around the loops.

But clearly, rollercoasters aren’t the best time for tea.

Why am I not further along on my journey?

Having spent the last few years with top performers from all over the country, there is one question that comes up over and over again that can cause so much pain and anxiety:

"Why am I not further along on my journey?"

Why don't I have a bigger bank account? Why don't I have a job that I love? Why don't I live in my dream home? Why don't I have the perfect partner and wonderful kids? Why haven't I got that promotion that should be mine?

I could go on and on with these questions. And the crazy part is, they can always be present for us no matter how much success we may have already had.

Why don't I have my second investment property yet? Why haven't I raised my third VC fund? Why is my fourth startup not taking off as fast as my first three did?

We have these expectations instilled upon us that we "should" be further along on our journey than we are. We see someone else who may be two steps ahead of us in one particular thing we are measuring them against and that in some way makes us feel inferior or as if we are not enough.

I do this. ALL. THE. TIME.

I've just done it again with writing on this site. I want to write every day. I can feel the benefits of writing consistently and see others who do it. I know it's possible, and yet I'm not there yet. Hell, I don't even have stable place to call home right now. So why am I trying to project myself forward into this place where I have the structures in place to publish a post every morning? I want to be in that place, I am not there yet, and I've allowed this to cause internal friction.

---

Whenever I experience this "I should be further along" feeling, I do a few things:

1. I bring awareness to this feeling. I consciously recognize that I am having this thought (again) where my mind projects where I "should" be. I see you thoughts.
2. I have compassion for myself and these beautiful thoughts that simply want a better life for me. Thank you, mind, for seeing the future better than it currently is. What a gift!
3. I find gratitude. Mostly this shows up as gratitude for being exactly where I am at on my journey. My past has led me to this exact moment, and I wouldn't change a thing. My experiences have shaped me into the human that am I, and I am forever grateful for that.

Part of being a Creator is that we are bringing new things into this world that don't exist. We see the opportunity for change, the possibility of building a better future. From that place, it feels natural to have feelings about why we aren't further along.

When we can bring awareness and compassion to those feelings and have gratitude for exactly where we are at, we can harness this energy to pull us forward and release any negativity we might associate with being exactly where we are at in this moment.