What is beyond trust?

Any time I hear someone say “trust me” I get just a tiny bit skeptical.

It registers for me as “I’m trying to persuade you but my argument isn’t solid enough on its own so I’m turning to peer pressure to convince you.”

That’s not so trustable.

There are many things where an argument and persuasion are not possible. How do I trust that I am on the right path, for example. I can believe that I am. I can have confidence that I am. But trust leaves room for doubt.

When it comes to walking my highest path in this lifetime, I don’t trust trust.

I know I am.

Knowing is the ultimate form of conviction. Knowing is what trust hopes to be one day when it grows up. Knowing removes all uncertainty and doubt.

I know with every cell in my body that I am on the right path for me. There is a complete and unshakable certainty that this is absolute truth. I don’t need to trust that. I know.

How do I have this knowing that this is the my path? Well, that is a thought for another day.

How do I come up with my theme for the year?

At the beginning of 2018, I gave up any form of resolutions and made the decision that picking a theme for the year felt more appropriate for me.

At that point, I decided that 2018 was going to be the Year of Ultimate Alignment.

This came from a belief that there was a lot of internal work for me to do that year. My intention was to re-calibrate my internal compass and strengthen my trust in my own discernment and decision making. I deepened my yoga and meditation practices. I participated in some other-worldly "team building" activities. I spent a lot of time in nature. And I did my best throughout the year to checkin with my own internal guidance system before taking action.

Then there was 2019. Last year was the Year of Surrender.

Whether I truly wanted Surrender to be my theme for the year or not is hard to say. But it was very clear that's what was happening, and I went with it. I surrendered to Surrender being my theme for the year. I left my leadership position in a company I previously believed was an organization and the people I would work with for the rest of my life. I went through a hellacious experience with the people renting my home which became very costly financially, mentally, spiritually and emotional. And ultimately, I spent a lot more time listening, saying no and letting go than I did of actually accomplishing anything. Weirdest year of my life. But it also left room for me to fall in love with an incredible woman in a situation that most people could never understand. In a sense, we both were fully surrendered to what was possible against the odds, and it's been a beautiful adventure ever since.

That brings us to 2020. The start of a new decade.

There's so much pressure to pick the perfect theme for this new year after how on point the last two were. Actually, I'm just messing around. There's no pressure at all.

I'm sitting here with no theme at the moment, and I'm perfectly okay with that.

The beauty of these themes and the reason why they are a year long journey is that they take time to learn, develop and fully integrate. Allowing these themes the proper time that they need breathe and grow feels like putting on a new piece of armor. They become part of my identity and who I am.

And so, even though I don't have a theme for this year on January 4th (gasp!), I fully trust that the theme will reveal itself soon.

Thanks to my Alignment armor I am certain that I will be able to find the exact right theme and say no to everything else. And thanks to my Surrender armor, I don't feel the need or pressure to force something to hit some arbitrary deadline or outcome.

I know that this year's theme will come from me listening deeply, being observant to what life is showing me and rejecting any good themes to leave space for the perfect one to walk into my life.

What have I learned from Harry Potter and Bugs Bunny about decision making?

For a hypothetical argument's sake, let's roll with the assumption that everyone is making the best decisions that they can with the information that they have in the moment. Most people, most of the time, aren't making decisions that they think are bad or wrong. We're all doing the best we can with what we got.

If we truly believe that, there's an awful lot of space for us to invite in compassion, sympathy, forgiveness and empathy when we make decisions that doesn't work out.

We make a decision. It works out. Or it doesn't. And we move on from there.

Instead, it's easier to get caught up in the opposite direction: second guessing, regret, remorse, resentment, finger pointing, blame and over thinking our past decisions. I made the decision. The best I could at the time. And now I want to use new information to make the best decision I can in this new moment.

A cool little plot device in The Half-Blooded Prince (one of my favorite Harry Potter books) is a magical potion called Felix Felicis. From the Harry Potter Wiki:

"Felix Felicis, also called "Liquid Luck", is a magical potion that makes the drinker lucky for a period of time, during which everything they attempt will be successful. It turns an ordinary day into an extraordinary one."

Harry successfully uses it towards the end of the book and has the ultimate trust in his own judgement and decision making. Harry also tricks Ron earlier in the book into thinking that Ron drank the potion before a big Quidditch match. This helps Ron get out of his own head and lead his team to victory. It has striking similarities to "Michael's Secret Stuff" in the Space Jam movie where Bugs Bunny tricks his teammates into drinking water thinking that it makes them better basketball players.

Harry and Bugs both know the power of the placebo affect. Science has proven that our brains can convince our body that a fake treatment is the real thing.

If given the opportunity and no side effects, we all would be walking around like Harry after he takes the potion. After he consumes the potion, he seemingly makes a bizarre decision and responds. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing... or at least, Felix does."

And so, that is the confidence and trust I want to cultivate in my own decision making. Mentally, I know I'm making the best decision I can in the moment, but it's oh so easy to forgot.

As a fun little hack, I've labeled my water bottle Felix Felicis. From now on, every morning when I wake up and drink water, I'll be reinforcing a little luck and magical thinking into my decision making.

How can I accelerate the journey?

Today, I randomly overheard an interview about launching your career as a UX designer and this question from the audience hit me:

"How can I accelerate my journey?"

What a fascinating question...

On one hand, you can't. There is no accelerating the journey. The journey is the journey. You are on the path and there's no cheat codes or warp drives.

On the other hand, there are so many things that we can do to ensure that the next step on our journey is the most efficient and effective.

• Seek guidance
• Listen deeply
• Trust and surrender
• Ask obvious and non-obvious questions
• Uplevel your environment
• Strive for mastery from a beginner's mind
• Remove attachment and expectations
• Learn from the past and the future

There's a massive challenge with this acceleration process though.

It often doesn't feel like we are going faster at all.

It's can feel more like taking a step backward to take 4 steps ahead. Listening, for example, is very passive. When we listen without attachment, it might be a lengthy process and probably not feel like acceleration at all. And yet, it could be the key to unlocking everything.

This is some Jedi Master level stuff. If you are trying to force acceleration, it won't happen and will actually probably slow you down. When you trust that the journey is unfolding exactly as designed, you will be more open to the opportunities that are hidden in plain sight.

How do I know if this is the right path for me?

I woke up on this lovely Saturday morning with plans of doing one thing and then ended up doing something completely different.

Part of that emergent plan took me into a small, bustling local bookstore. In the process of leaving with 5 books to add to the ever-growing pile of future reading material, I found a new quote that I very much enjoy.

"Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt." — John Muir

It can be extremely difficult at times to trust that the path that we are on is the right one. There's no way of knowing the consequences and repercussions of making a left turn instead of a right turn 47 days ago. I could have won the lottery or gotten hit but a bus with every other multiverse in between. So why sweat it?

That quote opened up this internal dialogue of inviting in more trust. Of course this is the right path because I am on it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be on this path. I'd be on different one.

Also. Bonus points to this emergent Saturday for allowing me to experience over a dozen animals in their natural habitats including dolphins, elk, deer and some badass hawks and birds. I have this loose theory about a dozen animals correlating to a day well spent.

Before I even knew that this quote existed, my path was making room for the dirt paths. Just another example of the future me laying the groundwork for the present me. How fucking cool is that?