Why do I write?

I am now back in a rhythm of publishing something here (almost) daily.

I decided to start this current writing period with no agenda, no format, and no audience. I’d open up a blank page, discover what question or topic bubbles up, and then allow words to flow.

I find that I’m mostly writing about Leadership, Mindfulness, and Being Human. I love the intersection there so this comes as no surprise. I’ve written some bangers and some clunkers. Some very random and some very interconnected.

It’s been quite lovely. It’s a creative outlet. It’s a way to simplify complex ideas. It allows me to research curious topics. It frees up mental ram by getting ideas out. Overall I just really enjoy writing again.

I’m not growing an audience. I don’t share these anywhere. And if you’re reading this now, you’re probably my amazing girlfriend 😘 I’ve also heard from a few people that they’ve really been getting value out what what I’m writing, so I’m not quite sure what to do with that just yet.

What I do know is that right now this feels pure, and I won’t trade that for anything.

Can I practice even when everything sucks?

It’s easy to commit to a practice when things are going well.

The times I fail is when shit gets messy: being under-resourced, angry, sad, upset, distracted, bored, exhausted.

Practicing, building new habits and making change when it’s hard is the real jam. How do we show up when it’s tough?

I’m writing this morning’s Thought even though my mind is distracted. Even though my ideas are jumbled and not as clear as yesterday. Wake up, write post. That’s my practice. Everything else is just noise until this is done.

The single most important change I’ve made in my relationship to practice is to triple down when things are not great. I have compassion for myself and not wanting to lean in, and I tap into my resiliency knowing that this too is just a passing phase.

Maybe tomorrow it’ll be easy again and my thoughts won’t feel so forced. Maybe not. Regardless, I’ll still be here putting in the work.

Why has writing become a critical part of the process?

Back on February 26th, I published my first public Thought related to the Coronavirus. "How Should I Prepare?" was an insight into my thinking about why it felt important to take some small steps to start preparing for a myriad of possible events.

A day earlier, I sent a tweet that my friends who were doctors and nurses laughed at the idea when I asked them if we should start preparing for the virus.

(Side note: this is my favorite on-going tweet thread which I continue to add to any time I find amazing things about nature and wildlife thriving during this worldwide shut down)

The reason I bring this up now is not to make any claim of Nostradamus status. Far from it. I bring it up because I'm glad I published those Thoughts and tweets even though some of them seemed ridiculous. With so much chaos, it brings me some joy that I still published a few things.

It greatly helps me to refine my thinking and decision engine to look back on posts from a few weeks or months ago, let alone the treasure chest of mostly not-so-great posts I have going back to 2012.

And as I'm laying in bed on a Sunday night, realizing that I've only published a small handful of Thoughts over the last month, having a strong desire to give my past self a swift talking to, I know that my future self will greatly appreciate a stronger dedication to writing more consistently.

And so it will be. See you tomorrow world. As I continue to document the process of what it's like to be John during the global pandemic of 2020.

As always, my hope is that my Thoughts bring you some tiny nuggest of wisdom, open you up to a unique perspective or even provide you with some momentary distraction and entertainment with my shenanigans, but really we all know I'm just writing this for Future John :)

What's been going on behind the scenes?

It's Sunday night, and I haven't written a post all week.

I haven't gone a week without at least two posts since I started writing again. And I also made a promise to myself that I wouldn't write if I had to force myself to do so. So it's been a lot of radio silence recently.

The short version of it is this:

I've been in the process of selling my apartment since the beginning of last summer. I had some major tenant issues, eviction, lockouts, court appearances and way too much wasted time and energy. I finally was able to get the squatters out, put the place on the market and it went under contract at the end of October with an expected close before Thanksgiving. More delays and headaches.

This past week the buyer finally had to walk from the deal due to their inability to secure a mortgage.

So it's back to square one on the selling front.

It's been a long process. I'm doing my best to remain open to the gift and what this experience is here to show me. I'm also ready to put this all past me so I can focus my full attention on that things that matter most.

Now that the initial scramble of this past week is behind me, I believe I'll be back to writing more frequently without having to force anything or publish stuff just for the sake of checking the box. I miss you all and can't wait to be regularly writing again.

Isn't blogging dying?

Probably, yes. It certainly feels like blogging is becoming a fossil of the days of internet past.

And I kinda like it even more for that.

There's arguably much better methods of marketing online these days. There's better ways to get content distribution. There's better ROI out there for getting eyeballs to see your message.

But.

I'm not writing again for page clicks. I'm not building an audience to monetize. I'm writing consistently again for these reasons (in order):

1. To clarify and simply my own thinking and understanding of things that are important to me
2. To establish a creative outlet for asking and answers powerful questions that are fascinating to me in the moment
3. To create a historical record of my own growth and development over time (some of those original blog posts are super cringeworthy)
4. To have something to share with people when these questions come up in coaching and leadership conversations when there's a desire to dig deeper

Any other benefits from publishing these posts consistently again feels like a bonus. And, since I'm on the subject, I'll share a few other random thoughts about what I'm doing here.

• I've decided to follow a Q&A format for these posts. I love questions. So each post will be a question that I've been thinking about, that comes up in meditation or conversation, or a question that I've answered too many times ;)
• I've decided to have a mailing list for this simply for ease of use for people who want to consume this content but don't enjoy the inconsistency of my writing times (I'll send out a weekly email with a summary of all of the posts for the week)
• I am always open to new questions or topics. If there are any specific requests, send them over and if they fit roughly into the intersection of leadership, innovation and entrepreneurship I'll do my best to simply my thoughts for you.

While blogging and short to medium length content is quite what it used to be, it all depends on what you are looking to get out of it. For me, it's the perfect format for clarity, simplicity, creativity and documenting my thoughts.