What happens when I continue to surrender?

Surrender was the theme for me in 2019. It was a wild year filled with some amazing experiences and some major headaches. It required massive amounts of trust, moment to moment, to continue to surrender in the face of uncertainty. I’m glad I followed that thread for the year to show me what I need to be shown and learn what I needed to learn.

And while surrender is no longer the major theme, it is something that I have incorporated into who I am and how I show up.

These past few weeks have required me to tap back into that surrender mode in a major way.

My father has scheduled heart surgery and was admitted to the hospital on January 27. The surgery itself went smooth, but then there were complications that showed up just as he was about to be released. Tomorrow will mark 4th week of him being in the hospital, and the new plan is that he’ll be released sometime during the middle of this week.

I feel incredibly grateful that he will be walking away from this at all, because not everyone does.

I also have seen the stress that this has put on my father, my family and me. I have also seen a major transformation in him from frantically trying to convince everyone to let him go home, to becoming very accepting that he is still there for a reason.

It has been exhausting for all of us, and we’re looking forward to him coming home soon, whenever that will be.

It’s presented me with the opportunity to bring surrender back into the mix for me. I mostly haven’t written anything here while this was going down. I’ve had to put some things on pause professionally. And I’m fully on board with all of that. I’m listening to what is being shown to me moment by moment. I’ve become laser focused on the true priorities during this time, and it felt so aligned.

While I missed you all and writing regularly, I’m glad I was able to surrender. As much as I enjoy the time I spent writing, I never want to force that time. If there’s ever a pause or an extended break in between posts, know that listening to what’s coming up for me and that I’ll be back to bring the fire soon enough.