How do I find my new Identity?

This weeks Thoughts have been all about Identity with my new identity and my favorite identity shifts in fictional characters.

Today we continue the thread by digging into the process of how to go about uncovering our own shift in identity.

"I went on a walk deep into the woods to think about my new identity, and when answers come to me in nature, I just sort of roll with them."

I wrote that on Monday, but that is only a tiny part of the process of how this new identity dropped in. It's time to expand on that.

First things first. A new identity is not something that can be forced. Either I am ready for a new identity or I'm not. If I'm not, that means there's still something valuable in the old identity, or I'm just not ready to step into this new me. When I am ready, I know it. I go through this pattern of feeling stuck, feeling like I don't know the answers and can't figure them out, and feeling like something must change. That "something" starts with identity.

Once I know it's time for a new identity to drop in, because I've gone through all of the unpleasant stuckiness, I then start to become intentional about this new identity. A new identity is part discovery, part creation, part aspiration, part alignment.

Let's look at those parts separately:

• Discovery: If we knew the answers already, we would have acted on them. New challenges require new ways of thinking that weren't previously available to us. This is where long walks in nature help, mediation, self-reflection and whatever can be done to allow answers to flow from an unattached place.
• Creation: This is where we get to have fun. Our new identity should bring joy to us. If it doesn't, it's probably not the right identity and won't last long. We get to riff on the answers that came through during the discovery process and let our imagination run wild. The creation process allows us to be intentional in what we are stepping into.
• Aspiration: An identity is a "moving towards" object. Our identity should be something that we are required to grow into. To get "there" we must go on our own personal hero's journey and overcome the obstacles in our path. Through overcoming the challenges and things that made us feel stuck, we are presented with the opportunity to actually become our new identity. It is the rite of passage.
• Alignment: This last part is more of a sanity check. Does our new identity actually solve our stuckiness? Does this new identity actually make sense for us? Does this new identity feel in alignment with who I am, who I've been and who I'm here to become? Our identity should feel like a perfectly fitted item of clothing that was designed very specifically for us in this moment.

We want our identity to be perfectly hand-crafted to our individual situation. When our identity doesn't serve us, it can feel like we're constantly fighting an uphill battle.

Even if you are unclear about your identity at the conscious level, I assure you, we all have a very solid identity that we've been reinforcing all of our lives. If you don't like your current identity or if you are unaware of what your current identity it, it's time to get very intentional about it.

I've worked with many people who feel some level of uncertainty or a lack of clarity around their North Star or who they are. A starting place if there's some level of uncertainty is to adopt an identity of someone who is on their path to discovering their purpose and open to more clarity coming through.

This shift in identity has been taking place for me over many months, probably longer than a year. It doesn't always take that long, but sometimes it does. There's no forcing it. Believe me. I've tried. It is an "allowing" process.

When we allow the right identity to drop in, we are ready to move mountains.