Why is perspective such a big deal?

I’m about to blow your mind with some facts from the animal kingdom.

Humans are trichromatic: we have 3 different types of photoreceptors in our eyes. We believe that this corresponds to being able to see red, green and blue, and from those 3 we are able to see millions of different colors.

Enter the mantis shrimp.

The mantis shrimp has SIXTEEN different types of photoreceptors, and we don’t even really know what that means. Sure, it can see colors that humans can’t. And. The mantis shrimp can also see ultraviolet light, polarized light, circularly polarized light, and I’m sure things we can’t quite comprehend yet.

We’re over here with our 3 photoreceptors thinking we’re so perceptive. Ha!

My favorite exercise on perspective involves 2 people facing each other. Put a paper in between them and ask them to read the number that they see on the paper. Person A responds “5” and Person B says “8.” Who is right? Well, both of them are correct. The side of the paper facing Person A has a 5 and the side facing Person B has an 8. If you ask them to defend their position, they could really take a stand for what they “see.”

This is the cause of a lot of arguments and pain. From one person’s perspective, they may see something totally different than another based on their vantage point, past experience, eye sight or any number of other differences.

It happens in politics, sales, science, leadership, economics, relationships. Everywhere really.

My brothers and sisters of nuance and discernment understand this. Perspective is everything. If we can do our best to truly put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, maybe we’ll see that it is actually and 8 and a 5. And maybe when we call something purple, we’ll realize how primitive that would sound to the mantis shrimp.

Are we allowed to change our minds?

I used to have very strongly held beliefs about certain things. Religion, politics, past lives, free will, nutrition, mental health to name a few.

As part of my heart opening journey and expanding my emotional range, I’m seeing many more things in shades of gray and not so black and white. There’s a whole world of nuance.

After spending a few years in SF, I had very strong judgements towards people who would talk about their past lives. I have since to come to discover things that have changed my mind. A bit. I still don’t think it’s a thing, at least as some of these folks describe it, but I’m not absolutely certain anymore.

Because of our collective dwindling ability for public discourse and discernment, I’m not sure it’s safe for people to change their minds. If you have a certain political belief, it is frowned upon to agree with someone on the other side of the aisle. We have decided to be pro-polarization and anti-discernment.

We are so quick to cancel and completely cut people out of our lives. In doing so, we are reinforcing fixed identities. We don’t allow for people to grow and change because we are comfortable with who they are and how they think.

I’m guilty of this. As with most things I write about here, I’m speaking from my own personal experience and journey. I like for people to fit into nice, neat boxes in my mind of who they are and what they believe. If they change their mind, it messes up my tidy judgements. I’m working through it, and it’s a major shift for me. In doing so, I hope that I can become more comfortable with changing my own mind and allow others around me to feel safe to do the same.

Can I still listen to Kanye?

Kanye West represents a significant dilemma for me.

I’m a huge fan of his music. He has genius level talent at producing some bangers. And I appreciate genius in all shapes and sizes.

I’m also very intentional with the things I choose to support. When possible, I believe in intentional currency flow and conscious spending. I want to direct my money towards people and organizations that are building more of what I want to see in the world.

There’s a clear and direct conflict between this intentional currency flow and what Kanye has been saying and doing. Completely inexcusable and condemnable.

That’s pretty black and white. But. There’s still some nuance for me.

A friend recently asked me “Does your vision for a more beautiful world allow for and accommodate mental health issues?”

I was kinda stumped. To be completely honest. The obvious answer is of course it does. In a more beautiful world we are accepting and loving of all people and all situations. And yet here we are… faced with someone who has documented mental health issues and now says he “likes Hitler” while giving a platform for people to spread hate.

It’s obvious I don’t have a clear answer to my friend’s question. I’m choosing to continue to not listen to Kanye’s music even though a) I do miss it and b) I am anti-cancel culture. I do hope he is getting the help he needs and that we all get to enjoy more of his genius for years to come, but it seems we are heading in the opposite direction for now.

What is the Anti Cancel Culture League?

As a sworn enemy of cancel culture, I am here to inform you that the Anti Cancel Culture League (ACCL) is something I just made up 5 minutes ago. But if it was real, here’s what it would be and why I support it…

First, let’s start off with some real talk. I would absolutely be cancelled based on some of the things I’ve done in my past. No questions, no notes, full cancel. I truly believe that every single human I’ve ever known would be cancelled if the history of their life was fully on display. If you think you are the exception, you are in denial.

Second, I absolutely believe that people should be held accountable for their actions. There is a positive purpose to cancel culture and to what (I believe) it is trying to accomplish. I freaking love humans, I want to live in a more equitable and inclusive society and I’m all for experiments on how we move in that direction.

But. Cancel culture ain’t it.

At its absolute best, we are holding people accountable for their mistakes, which again is a good thing and something I support.

Cancel culture is incredibly problematic though. It’s a form of control. It creates fear. It causes people to be inauthentic. And that’s just the minor stuff. More significantly, It’s increasing polarization. It’s not addressing the root causes. It’s more interested in burning down than finding solutions. It’s inciting violence, causing harm and destroying lives.

If the ACCL did actually exist, it would look towards education and awareness. It would strive for dialogue and discussion. Instead of digging for a reason to cancel someone, we’d seek to understand and connect.

Maybe cancel culture is exactly what we need right now. I hope not, but maybe. It’s easy for me to oppose cancel culture as a white male who would definitely be cancelled. And almost certainly the ACCL isn’t the answer.

If I had a magic wand to wave in this regard, I’d greatly prefer the approach where we take on nuance and compassion over scorched earth. Look towards love and connection over destruction. But maybe that’s my eternal optimist showing again.