Who makes the decisions?

I trust my higher self.

There is a version of me who is connected to something bigger, who has access to more of the puzzle and who makes infinitely better choices.

I don’t trust any other version of me. I’ll listen to what those versions have to say and let them know that they are welcomed to contribute, but they don’t call the shots.

When my higher self makes an important decision or creates a new structure or habit, I will defend that to the end. If I’m feeling exhausted or sad or angry, I won’t allow myself to override what was decided from a higher energy state. If I leave my little boy in charge, every day will be an adventure and a spontaneous, chaotic mess. I’ll take note of what these versions bring it up at the next internal board meeting, but there’s a very clear hierarchy.

It’s higher self above all.

Why I struggle with non-linear learning?

From the earliest age, we are taught in a linear fashion. First we learn this, and then this, that and the other. The structure, reproducibility and standardization has its benefits for mass education but also teaches us some bad habits.

A mentor and dear friend very much preaches non-linear learning for really complex topics. And I struggle. Mightily. My brain is addicted to learning in a clear progression. I want to know exactly where we’re going and how we’ll get there. And non-linear learning says “absolutely not” to all of that.

When I look back on one year of non-linear teachings, it’s clear that it was vastly superior approach for this particularly difficult concepts. Experiential, collaborative learning on a wide range of loosely connected topics has helped me connect dots that might have taken years. My struggle fueled my curiosity.

I get why non-linear learning isn’t taught in schools and I completely get why I struggle with it, but holy damn. It has been a transformational learning experience not possible in a classroom style, linear fashion.

How does the world stay so fresh?

Every time I think I know something, the universe shows me that I actually know so little.

It feels like my entire adult life was one big discovery process of songs that I thought were originals and were covers all along. It’s disorienting and also super fun learning that All Along the Watchtower wasn’t an original Dave Matthews song, discovering the version from Jimi Hendrix and then later finding out it was from Bob Dylan.

I’ve listened to “To Pimp A Butterfly” by Kendrick Lamar many, many times. This morning, I “heard” one of the lyrics for the first time. It led me down a rabbit hole of discovery that blew my mind with how many things I previously missed and overlooked.

The world feels so fresh and young when we let it be. If we can, even just for a moment, forget everything we “know” and let curiosity do its thing, we can discover the magic everywhere in everything.

What is my favorite AI creativity hack?

I’ve long since learned that my creativity cannot be forced. If I have to bring my mind kicking and screaming to the table to be creatively productive, at best it will produce mediocre work as a gentle reminder of who’s boss.

I absolutely adore the approach from Neil Gaiman about his writing cabin. When he goes there to write, he doesn’t force himself to write. He can either write or do nothing. It’s an ingenious hack to avoid force and kickstart the work.

Another hack I’ve discovered recently is using AI to light up the creativity neurons. I don’t use it to outsource my creativity although sometimes that can be helpful. I get inspired by other humans creating.

I spend time in the midjourney discord looking at other people’s prompts, works in progress and final outputs. People are so freaking creative with this stuff. A recent favorite is AI’s interpretation of every country in the world as a villain. It has absolutely nothing to do with my own creative work, and yet it’s amazing.

I’m not forcing my brain to go into creative mode if it doesn’t want to. I’m slightly nudging it in the direction that I want to go with help from my new AI friends. Sometimes it goes along and sometimes it doesn’t. Either way it produces vastly superior results than force.

What replaces judgement?

Judgement used to be my personal bodyguard. I would make real-time judgements of everything and everyone as a way to make sense of the world. Who was a threat, who was an ally, who knew their shit and who was faking it.

Judgement was a skill that I had practiced all the time and gotten quite good at it. It helped me read the room, close sales, lead teams effectively, anticipate and generally operate in the world.

But.

I was delivered some harsh truths from some dear friends.

In a surprise to almost no one but me, these judgements were not well received by those closest to me and as a result caused people to never truly feel safe with me.

Huge eye opener for me. And one that I’m still working through to be honest. It was my default way of understanding everything and everyone, and it was holding me back.

Judgement served me well, but it is time for a serious upgrade. From the world of Ken Wilber and Integral theory, my goal with judgement is not to eliminate it or make it wrong, but rather to transcend and include it. How can I make room for that judgement but do so with love and compassion?

As I piece this all together in this moment of writing, there is no need to replace judgement. It can still have its place and its purpose. But when I use that as my default and only strategy for how to view the world and build relationships, it no longer works (and never really worked to be honest).

By allowing judgement to be there but not run the show, I need new strategies. I’ve started to look towards a combination of curiosity, inquiry, empathy, discernment, intuition, kindness and love. This is going to take time and I’m so incredibly grateful for those who are patient and supportive on me on this journey.